Dance of the Manwhore

2010-11-28 18:27:33 by Sexual-Lobster

Dance of the Manwhore

Back in May I came up with the first verse of this song but couldn't think of anything else for it. I put the call out here and on my forum to help write the rest.

To me it is not rap or trance but manly poetry captured and beaten, then welded in place by sweaty, hairy wrists.

So thankyou Ultius and SPace, the two Newgrounders whose contributions I used, and thanks to everyone else who contributed, there was a lot of stuff that I wanted to use in the song but was too many or few syllables.

To those who are afraid that their manliness will be assaulted, don't worry, Fernando will hand you back your free will once the video has looped several times. And to those who expected Pleasure Island 4, this is Pleasure Island 4. This is what happens directly after the credits roll.

Also, if anyone wants to see more Raptor Jesus related adventures, I've started a comic called The Velocirapture that is all about his return to Earth.

Dance of the Manwhore


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2010-11-28 18:32:19

Why is the "d" in called part of the link?

Sexual-Lobster responds:

fat fingers?


2010-11-28 18:49:59

Love it dude, I just love it. I like the part about the stew :3 is that wierd?

Sexual-Lobster responds:

nothing is weird any more, we are living in a post weird era, and Fernando is king of all manwhores.


2010-11-28 18:53:19

did my previous comment get deleted? oh well, i like the stew part! and all the dinosaur references! :3


2010-11-28 19:12:45

Man that bled of pure excellence.

Sexual-Lobster responds:



2010-11-28 19:36:04

PFFT what a pussy. Get It? HAHAHA

The song goes to my mp3 XD

Sexual-Lobster responds:

i managed to entirely keep cats out of it, but it was hard.


2010-11-28 19:58:30

There's a reason why it's snowing in England right now.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

is it because water in the atmosphere is cooled below freezing temperature? no? is it....because of fernando?


2010-11-28 20:37:26

this is great. i love your cartoons and am in glee whenever i see a submission. the part that made me crack up was when Fernando said his father didn't love him and started crying in an awkward silence. again , great job =]

Sexual-Lobster responds:



2010-11-28 21:35:06

you should post the lyrics. i love them.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

Love as large as brontosaurus
Passion like a bleeding walrus
Our love is real it's no mirage
Want to lock you in my garage

Climb upon my trusty steed
Later you will taste my seed
This heart of mine is yours to capture
From now until velocirapture

I wield my passion like an axe
It's warm and gooey just like wax
You cannot tame such juicy lust,
can you withstand my manly musk?

Roses are red, violets are blue
I must eat yogurt off of you
Know that I can never hold back - ocean/rocks
That might be why I smoke the crack

My father never loved me..

Love is like a ripened squid,
It stinks with limp appendages.
You scratch the rash that's on my ass,
The itch only love can surpass.

Yogurt is a dish best served chilled
Forgot to get my prescription filled.
Tonight I will have sex with you,
Then we will prepare a stew.

So just lie down and let me touch,
I promise you it won't hurt much
Stalk like a lizard of the night
Come closer, Fernando won't bite

Tears and screams of pain and pleasure
Are gifts we will share forever
Drenched deep in sweaty brine
is this blood yours or mine?


2010-11-29 00:01:25

I need someone like this in my life. The perfection is...too much...walrus grease...


2010-11-29 00:26:31

my father never loved me...................WHY DADDY?????????????

Sexual-Lobster responds:

it's because you smell bad.


2010-11-29 00:52:34



2010-11-29 01:06:44

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAthat was just wonderful.

Sexual-Lobster responds:



2010-11-29 01:27:01

Haha man, keep it up


2010-11-29 02:13:08

Now I wanna prepare a stew...

Sexual-Lobster responds:

make sure it is thick and poisonous


2010-11-29 03:55:33

Your comic "The Velocirapture", it really portrays Raptor Jesus' bad side more so than his good side. Raptor Jesus was only supposed to devour those who were enemies to the "Lulz", yet you had him eating the livers of every person he met. Similarly, wouldnt Raptor Jesus take Gooseman to the promised land? Instead of engaging in an epic battle with him?
But your flash Dance of the Manwhore wsa pretty good.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

raptor jesus is a force of pure liver eating evil in the comic. its quite different from the meme pictures, with the lolz and so on.


2010-11-29 08:03:01

No pleasure island 4 = No watching


2010-11-29 08:35:13

I just realized after watching Pi3 again, did you use 3D in the crab shack scene?
i mean i looked so well defined and was wondering who made that you or a friend?

anyways cheers!

Sexual-Lobster responds:

yes chris russell, a friend from uni, made it. his site is


2010-11-29 09:06:22

That was disturbingly good haha


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2010-11-29 12:37:58

This is just a thought.. But you could've made the subtitles black, so i could see it :(

Sexual-Lobster responds:

i could have done a lot of things


2010-11-29 18:08:50

Just where was Hernando?

Sexual-Lobster responds:



2010-11-30 03:53:25

eh, the pacing kind of ruined the potential and the familiar fernando ambiance. I think you could have still made it work


2010-11-30 14:11:29

I reeeeeeally thought this was Dance of the Manatee at first. From anyone else I would have been disappointed that this was not it, but I am quite glad you left the song alone and did something different. :3


2010-11-30 19:02:35

Has anyone brought this to your attention? What are your thoughts about this article? od_nm/us_potatoes_diet
Will you be next?


2010-11-30 19:49:11

"And to those who expected Pleasure Island 4, this is Pleasure Island 4. This is what happens directly after the credits roll."

I can see how this would be true, Fernando can't simply go off for revenge without a kick'en theme song to set things off.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

damn straight!


2010-11-30 20:02:07

ah yes the stew. I once found myself partaking of such a stew, created from potato's, steak and pure ungodly manwhore extract. I woke up 3 weeks later naked but for a single glove in a forest somewere in north Korea and someone had made a botched attempt to amputate my left foot. still, it was WORTH IT.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

how can someone botch an amputation? you must have strong, manly bones.


2010-12-01 14:23:36

I love you stuff!!!!

Sexual-Lobster responds:



2010-12-02 00:36:10

I just wanted to tell you I LOVE the Dance of the Manwhore! My fav is "My father never loved me" part ^^
I don't know how familiar you are with gaga's song Alejandro, but everytime she say Fernando I think of, well, Fernando! XD

Sexual-Lobster responds:

haha yeh i had to listen to it at work, i thought of fernando too.


2010-12-02 09:43:42

I showed this to my friends and they were instantly hooked.

The title is very welcoming for new viewers.

And I can't wait for Pleasure Island... 5 I guess.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

thanks for spreading the love, rynol!


2010-12-02 12:16:21

I love you lol

Sexual-Lobster responds:

i love you too man


2010-12-02 22:36:01

Is this YOUR favorite song, hmm?

Sexual-Lobster responds:

who, me? well... its ok i guess.


2010-12-03 04:32:14


Sexual-Lobster responds:

yeh gooseman was a bit of a second banana this time around, but don't worry he'll turn up again.


2010-12-03 04:33:27

oh and btw the song is awesome, i love the background tune alot

Sexual-Lobster responds:

thanks, considering how long often i heard it while making this its a miracle i don't hate it yet, perhaps i've discovered magic?


2010-12-03 17:53:18

Doesn't animating such things ever disturb you just a little bit...?

Sexual-Lobster responds:

haha no its good fun.


2010-12-04 05:19:33

I want to have sex with your brain.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

i...hope that's not possible.


2010-12-04 19:29:40

You, dear sir, lie. It's been several days now since my first viewing of this work. Several days of having it open so that it can play it's eternal loop. And I have yet to see any sign of my free will! When will I be free of Fernando's hypnotic pull?

Sexual-Lobster responds:

Fernando seems to have a higher purpose for you. perhaps your purpose is to watch Dance of the Manwhore for eternity. who can say?


2010-12-04 22:57:35

i've had great joy sharing this with my sister, much to her horror. love this song so much. I'll have to wait till she goes downstairs for something and pull this song up and when she puts her headphones back on- BAM! Manwhore music!

Sexual-Lobster responds:

haha fernandobombing your own family, you ruthless dog you.


2010-12-05 05:43:54

Fernando is awesome and so is that flash, it's the best thing I've seen on Newgrounds in awhile

Sexual-Lobster responds:



2010-12-05 09:37:58

cannot forget! i died inside when he said i must eat yogurt off of you :D lol

Sexual-Lobster responds:

well yoghurt is full of bacteria so eat it and you will life within you again!


2010-12-06 10:09:59

Something wrong with you lol all of us too cause we love your work

Sexual-Lobster responds:



2010-12-07 14:48:22

Lmao... your awesome dude.... man... im just wondering how much drugs u take a day..... dam... i smoke weed like alot....... and i cant come up with half the stuff u can... lol... ur something else.. something awesome.... Nice picture... lol ol

Sexual-Lobster responds:

thanks! i don't take any drugs, believe it or not.


2010-12-09 02:00:08

Apparently bleeding walruses must be passionate. Thus Fernando ordains.


2010-12-10 10:56:03

just thought you should know you have been writing/singing my friends life, and the scary part is he smokes crack and will do anything for money, ANYTHING!

pic 53/vwclogan/76586_499296695428_625840 428_7726817_1623009_n.jpg



2010-12-11 15:40:42

I don't know if it's the crack stare or the beastly hair or maybe just maybe the way he rubs his crotch on anything for a buck- but I'd want to have his crack babies, he's kind of sort of the love of my life.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

yes. embrace the manwhore. Fernando will share his salty tang with you.


2010-12-12 03:47:33

you are legendary

Sexual-Lobster responds:

why thankyou, you're very kind.


2010-12-15 17:31:25

you should make the velociraptor comic into a flash!!!

Sexual-Lobster responds:

the velocirapture comic would be way too huge a project, with heaps of time consuming animation in it. i've thought about doing it in small installments but there's not really enough story beats, i'd like to do it some day


2010-12-17 15:25:10

Every time I visit newgrounds I watch Dance of the manwhore, I don't know what it is about the character and the song but I'm addicted.


2010-12-18 15:58:01

Gooseman should have his song, to, about walruses and stuff. But his was a masterpiece, I have to listen to it at least once a day, if I don't, THE BOMB ON MY CHEST WILL EXPLODE!


2010-12-21 14:44:03

Your on a roll with these music videos, Awesome job.