A few people have asked for the lyrics:
Gaze into my chocolate eyes
Let my music sterilise
Give to me your hard earned coin
I'll share with you my tortured groin
What you're feeling is not weird
You want to burrow in my beard
Gaze upon my chiselled abs
I no longer have the crabs
My rhymes will grab you by the throat
And ride you like a sturdy goat
I will drown you in my scent
with or without your consent
I am a whore of some renown
Your buttocks are my hunting ground
I am a manwhore without peer
Absorbing sex from the atmosphere
Pressure building like a cyst
I want to share with you love's fist
I'll lick your feet, I'll wear a collar
I'll do anything for a dollar
I will fit you like a glove
More precious than a father's love
not that i would really know
I like my women rich and young
The kiss of yoghurt on my tongue
I wield a fleshy latin sword
Raptor jesus is my lord
Let me be your phantom limb
Crack and yoghurt keeps me slim.
Struggling with modernity
A whore for all eternity
I have cast my vote, and shame upon everyone who didn't try to influence my decisions with vast sums of money. You have to live with yourselves now.
Yet again Tom Fulp has conferred a huge amount of personal power to me and asked me to be a judge for the tank awards.
Given that with this honour comes a huge amount of influence and responsibility, and that I have demonstrated in the past that I am willing to wield this power without a shred of fairness and objectivity, I am a little surprised by the complete lack of offers of bribery I have received. There is still a few days to remedy this situation.
What are your picks?